Prompted, as usual, by the awesome Roger Green:
If I were a month, I’d be September.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Saturday.
If I were a time of day, I’d be 7 PM
If I were a planet, I’d be Pluto (eff you, science!)
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a clam.
If I were a direction, I’d be north.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be an overstuffed easy chair.
If I were a liquid, I’d be gin.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be aquamarine.
If I were a tree, I’d be a silver birch.
If I were a tool, I’d be a mallet.
If I were a flower, I’d be a blue rose.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be overcast and cool.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a bass.
If I were a color, I’d be cerulean.
If I were an emotion, I’d be bittersweet.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a pear.
If I were a sound, I’d be discordant.
If I were an element, I’d be chromium.
If I were a car, I’d be a Mustang.
If I were a food, I’d be garlic and eggplant pizza.
If I were a place, I’d be Shell Beach.
If I were a material, I’d be linen.
If I were a taste, I’d be celery.
If I were a scent, I’d be the scent of apple pie.
If I were an object, I’d be a hardcover book.
If I were a body part, I’d be the hand.
If I were a facial expression, it would be intimidating.
If I were a song, I’d be City of Dreams by the Talking Heads.
If I were a pair of shoes, I would be a pair of black Skechers.
USING ONLY ONE WORD.
Where is your cell phone? Next to me on my desk
Significant other? Lora
Your hair? Unmanageable, so I manage it by having very little
Your mother? Nancy
Your father? It's complicated
Your favorite thing? reading
Your dream last night? Back at an old job
Your favorite drink? Diet Peach Snapple
What room are you in? Living room, AKA "The red room."
Your hobby? Writing
Your fear? Pain
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Anywhere but here
Where were you last night? In bed
Something that you aren’t? Focused
Wish list item? Money
Last thing you did? Made stir-fry for my family
What are you wearing? Shorts and a t-shirt
Your pets? Cats, brother and sister. Sister hates her brother.
Friends? Fewer and fewer Your life? Tedious
Your mood? Mercurial
Missing someone? Always
Drinking? Once or twice a year
Your car? Belongs to my wife
Something you’re not wearing? Shoes
Your favorite store? Earthworld Comics
Your favorite color? Teal
When is the last time you cried? Last month
Where do you go to over and over? Supermarket, post office
Five people who email me regularly? Chris, Brian, Kira, myself, Facebook
My favorite place to eat? Ichiban in Albany
Favorite place I’d like to be at right now? In bed and reading